Silent Suffering: Women Working with Menopause
By the year 2025, 1.1 billion women worldwide will be menopausal due to women living longer.
My original title for this post was “is your vagina holding you back in your career?” but then I thought it probably wouldn’t be so great for SEO.
The world is less than fair when it comes to human anatomy. Women have experienced setbacks in their careers in many things from promotions to equal pay, simply because they have an extra X chromosome (or as I like to say, vagina). However, menopause is a stigmatized subject only heard in private chat groups or whispers at the water cooler. Approximately 1.3 million women enter menopause each year and 20% of the workforce are in some menopausal transition each year.
I am in the tail end of menopause, and I’ve been a CMO 3x, CRO 1x, have had 2 exits, and helped a third company raise a $100M+ Series C — all in the past 10 years, while going through menopause. 😇
Last year when I asked friends if I should talk to my HR department about what I was going through, many advised me not to. But I did anyway and am glad I did. No one is going to fire you for being in menopause. In fact, the opposite happened to me, I was promoted.
Menopause is a life stage, not a disease or disorder
Women can function just fine once they recognize what they are going through and take proactive steps to get their peri-menopause or menopausal symptoms under control. However, often women (72%) don’t realize it’s happening to them until they are in the thick of it and they feel like they are losing control, and often dismissed by doctors. (Most OBGYN doctors have had very little medical training when it comes to menopause. Usually less than a month during medical school).
Perhaps, if we talk about menopause more in the workplace and make women feel seen and validated, they might recognize their symptoms sooner and be more proactive about seeking treatment. Right now, according to a joint study by Bank of America and National Menopause Foundation, only 3% of women talk to their HR departments about menopause.
We need to talk about it more openly, here’s why:
Ignoring menopause is costing us billions $
In an article from Forbes, according to Mayo Clinic, the United States is losing more than $26B annually “due to the failure to address the effect of menopause on working women”: $24.8B is due to direct medical expenditures and $1.8B is due to lost workdays.
Every woman will go through menopause in her lifetime with the exception of those who have had their ovaries removed prior to puberty. Women usually go through menopause in their 40s and 50s, with 51 being the average age for menopause.
To put that in perspective, the average age in the C-Suite is 59, with the average age of a CMO and CFO being 54, CIO/CTO/CHRO at 55, and CEO at 59, per a study from Korn Ferry.
Menopause has the same symptoms as pregnancy, yet we treat them differently in the workplace
Menopause can affect cognitive ability and physical appearance, yet, we don’t treat menopause with the same consideration or respect as we do other health issues such as mental health, postpartum depression, or pregnancy. In fact, we only recently started talking about women’s periods openly in 1985 in a Tampax commercial.
Aside from the physical aspects, menopause affects your ability to sleep, causes hot flashes, changes in your mood, weight gain, and can cause depression or anxiety. Ironically, people who experience pregnancy and mental illness often experience similar symptoms such as brain fog, changes in sleep patterns, mood swings, depression, fatigue, and anxiety. Yet, we treat mental illness and pregnancy differently than menopause in the workplace.
For clarity, not every woman experiences menopausal symptoms. In fact only 20% experience severe symptoms, while 20% experience zero symptoms, and 60% experience mild to moderate symptoms. There are things women can do to combat many of these cognitive and physical affects such as medication, changes to diet, exercise, and homeopathic options.
Why don’t we talk about menopause more in the workplace?
It’s been my experience women don’t talk about menopause in the workplace because it projects a stereotype they’ve aged out of their career and are less relevant. Many feel it’s forbidden or too personal to talk about. They also don’t want men to know for fear they will be sidelined by them in their careers.
Yet, for the first time in history, more than 10% of women are leading Fortune 500 companies. Women represent 28% of the C-Suite in the S&P 100. Menopausal women have become the fastest-growing demographic in the workforce.
More stats, in 2024:
16.3% of CFOs are women
10% of CEOs are women
27% of CIOs are women
31% of CHROs are women.
51% of CMOs are women
Some people are speaking out - but not enough
Halle Berry recently spoke out on Capitol Hill in support of menopause legislation admitting she had menopause. However, other Hollywood influencers like Jennifer Aniston and JLO (both 55 years old) have gone through it quietly. (Women are not supposed to age, apparently).
Actress Naomi Watts, CEO and founder of Stripes Beauty, was 36 when she went through menopause and was dismissed by doctors because they thought she was too young. She researched the internet to understand what was happening to her and created Stripes Beauty so that women would have a place to go and learn more about menopause.
Recently there has been a small surge of conversation around menopause, but not in the workplace.
Getting comfortable with the uncomfortable
Perhaps we don’t talk about it because of the backlash we get from society when we talk about realities the world is uncomfortable with. When Penelope Trunk tweeted about being relieved of having a miscarriage during a board meeting in 2009 the internet went ablaze and decided how a recently divorced mother of two should feel about having a miscarriage. While we like to pretend we’re an equal opportunity society, the fact is we’re judgmental as hell.
Ageism also affects women far more than it affects men in the workforce. A 2023 SHRM survey revealed that 32% of HR professionals said that an applicant’s age played a factor in decisions their companies made during the hiring process.
It may surprise you to know that many women ages 35-50 invest in botox or fillers to make themselves look younger because they are afraid of aging out in the workplace. In fact, 60% of women ages 50-69 dye their hair to cover their gray. How sad is that? Just when you’ve reached the pinnacle of knowing who you are in your career, you feel you have to keep up with expectations and try to make yourself look younger.
What your company can do to be menopause friendly
Most companies with greater than 500 employees have a mental health policy but they don’t have a menopause policy. It’s all about acknowledging these experiences that women are going through and creating an inclusive supportive environment.
According to the joint study mentioned earlier, the #1 reason employers don’t offer menopause benefits is because employees haven’t asked for them.
Some things to consider as an employer:
Create a menopause policy with sought input from those most affected or make it an extension of your mental health policy.
Ensure flexible working and sickness policies have a consideration for menopause.
Make sure the workplace is inclusive for people going through menopause, including well-ventilated rooms/cooler parts of the office, access to cool drinking water and close proximity to bathrooms.
In-office temperature - allow desk fans and meeting room personal fans, keep the temperature at 68 degrees. It's easy to put a sweater on if someone is cold, but as a woman in menopause, it's hard to shed your skin.
Educate the workplace to better understand what their colleagues and other women in their lives might be going through.
Encourage physical activity as a work benefit. Physical activity can help stave off brain fog, weight gain, and mood changes.
Create a women’s ERG group that is private where women can discuss these topics freely.
List what resources are available through your company’s insurance and make those easily available on your intranet so they are easy to find and not a secret.
How you can be an ally at work:
Avoid early meetings - women in perimenopause/menopause need at least 7 hours of sleep every night.
Send out meeting notes/summaries to be a helpful reminder of what was covered and decisions that were made.
Ask if there is anything you can do to support them without bringing up the word ‘menopause.’ If a woman wants to talk about it, she will.
See something, say something. If you have a relationship with someone and it seems they may be struggling, let them know you're available to talk and listen without judgment.
If you have menopause or know someone who does
EDUCATE YOURSELF
The best thing you can do is educate yourself and do your own research. Hormone replacement therapy (HRT) is a common solution, but it may or may not be for you (or your loved one) given your/their medical history. However, there are other alternatives and supportive research out there. Diet and exercise are just as important in your life transition.
SHARE YOUR STORY
As women, we need to normalize the topic so women feel comfortable asking for reasonable adjustments at work (like a desk fan).
REMEMBER
You’re not alone, it’s a natural phase of life all women go through. I started a Slack channel for women only who want to gather and talk about what you’re going through. If you’re interested in joining, send me a private message or comment below.
Helpful Resources:
Menoguides - everything you need to know about peri/menopause
Elektra Health - mission is to smash the menopause taboo by empowering women with evidence-based education, care, and community.
Midi Health - online expert care for women with menopause
The Pause Life - demystifying menopause, Dr Mary Claire Haver
Let’s Talk Menopause - lots of resources to learn more about menopause
Menopause Society - for menopause professionals leading patients through transition
Menopausal Hormone Therapy Products Chart - to understand what all of those meds do
🎥 The “M” Factor, Shredding the Silence on Menopause movie airs on PBS on October 17, 2024
World Menopause Day in 2024 is on October 18, 2024, celebrate by speaking up